Calling The Loser Alpha Male… Zach Galifianakis: Bike to the Oscars

In my quest to get an Academy Awards nominee, presenter, or guest to bike to the Oscars, I was pointed in the direction of Zach Galifianakis. He’s the guy who just might do it, I was told.

So what do we know about this Galifianakis guy, other than he’s a cyclist and he invented a new archetype: “the loser alpha male?”Zach Galifianakis

Steven Rea forwarded me this press release from

Beverly Hills, CA – Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis will present at the 84th Academy Awards ceremony, telecast producers Brian Grazer and Don Mischer announced today. Ferrell and Galifianakis recently wrapped shooting for “The Campaign.”

Galifianakis, who was recently seen in “The Muppets,” will be making his first Oscar show appearance. His other film credits include “Puss in Boots,” “Due Date,” “Dinner for Schmucks,” “Up in the Air,” “What Happens in Vegas,” “Into the Wild” and the two “Hangover” films.

And I also found out this:

Galifianakis actually dislikes his audience "” both the frat-boy fans who dot Vegas casinos in T-shirts bearing his face and his socially awkward Hangover character’s self-description, “One Man Wolfpack,” and the fellow hipsters who go to see him at alternative-comedy clubs.

Dislikes his audience? That’s refreshing.

I am the Anti-Fan (as foretold in the Book of Adoration). I’ve seen a handful of his films and have enjoyed his work — in the same way that I enjoy the work of a competent bike mechanic.

Thanks. Good job truing my rim. No, I don’t want my photo taken with you or an autographed spoke card.

Galifianakis would have to find other reasons to dislike me. Not to worry; there are plenty.

So will Galifianakis fulfill the prophecy?

Today I called his managing agent and made my pitch. When I was done, I heard a sound like a laugh, or maybe a scoff. But he gave me his e-mail address, and said if I sent him my information he’d “forward it directly to Zach.” Maybe an Anti-Fan has a leg up with this entertainer. Or maybe that’s an agent’s way of saying, “Thanks for the call, but I have real stuff to do.”

I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything — or nothing. I may be watching the show with my mom before I find out whether Galifianakis or anyone else takes up the call.

So that’s your update, cycling stargazers.

I’m still open to leveraging any connections readers may have to Oscar nominees, presenters, or guests.   If you’ve got ’em, share ’em. The clock is ticking.

Post navigation