2012 Academy Award Nominees on Bikes

Okay, I’ve spent the last hour looking through this year’s Oscar Nominees in the acting and directing categories and doing Google Image searches to see who might be candidates for my effort to get someone to arrive to the event by bike.

Yes, that means I just spent an hour, on the clock, looking at celebrities. Some people would say that means I have the most awesome job in the world. I, however, feel as though I’m being paid to pick my nose.

I try not to be a smug cyclist, but in my disdain for celebrity worship in our culture, oh yes, I can feel quite uppity. And this… this exercise makes me feel dirty. In my bike-friendly workplace, one thing we don’t have is a shower.

If I could wave a magic wand over a non-cycling, celebrity-addicted person, and get them to either start cycling, or stop caring about celebrities — but not both — I honestly don’t know which I’d choose.

I have issues. I own it. On with it.

As if to prove the stereotype that the only reasons people would ride bikes for transportation are that they (a) got a DUI, (b) are insane, or (c) both, I found Nick Nolte (sigh) on a recumbent.

Nick Nolte
Photo: NameOnRice.com

Now this is more like it. If Michelle Williams were to arrive at the Oscars on a classic 70’s three-speed with a banana seat, there would be a stampede the next day to every pawn shop in the country, and anyone with one of these bikes in their garage would be uploading images to eBay within hours. (And sullying myself with celebrity culture would all have been worth it.)

Michelle Williams
Photo: listal

Here’s George Clooney, who would make a fine ambassador for the mainstreaming of bike commuting — provided he does not arrive on a mountain bike while wearing basketball attire.

George Clooney
Photo: UsMagazine.com via BikeSnobNYC.com

Finally, I found Brad Pitt with Angelina Jolie with their kids Maddox and Zahara. (The bike child trailer experts with whom I work believe that is a Burley trailer they are pulling.)

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Maddox Zahara.
Photo: People.com via TreeHugger.com

My original appeal to entertainers included this illustration of the Pitt-Jolie entourage:

What if Angelina and Brad couldn't get a babysitter? (full)
Illustration by Matthew Henry Hall

Making me feel as though I’ve been on the right track all along.

Those are all of the photos of nominees I was able to find without spending more of my employers time. I am not necessarily fixated on having a nominee arrive at the Oscars on a bike, but the list of nominees gave me a manageable list from which to work.

If you’d like to pick up where I left off — and waste your employers money — here are links to the Google Image searches I used for every nominee:

Let me know what you find.

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